Starting time: 10pm
Name: Eugenie
Sisters: 1 elder sister
Brothers: 1 elder brother
Shoe Size: 10 or 41
Height: 1.8m
Where do you live: Currently located in Nizhniy Novgorod, Russian Federation
Favourite drinks: Teh si peng
Favourite breakfast: Milo?? I don't have a habit of taking breakfast
Have you ever been on a plane?: DUH
Swam in the ocean: Nope, don't plan to
Fallen asleep at school: of course... hehe
Broken someone’s heart: don't think so
Fell off your chair: very painfully, yes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: don't think so. No one nearby is that important yet.
What is your room like: satisfactory
What’s right beside you: Notes on pharmaco and Lippincott pharmaco book
What is the last thing you ate: Lodeh and some chicken soup
Ever had chicken pox: yep
Sore throat: of course... what kinda Q is this?
Stitches: Thankfully no
Broken nose: Nope
Do you believe in love at first sight: Can't say either ways. Attraction at first sight then yes. Love??? Till it actually happens to me, I'll doubt it
Like picnics: I'm in Russia. In the 11 months I'm here, 9 months of it is COLD!!!!!!!!!!! But I suppose I do if the weather is warm
Who was, were the last person you danced with: Hmmm... can't remember his name...
Last made you smile: Obligatory smile? My roommate. Trully smile? Midget
You last yelled at: In anger... too long ago to remember
Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: nope. Class was canceled so I didn't meet anyone except my roommate. Not to say I DON'T like her, but not to say I like her either. Unless text chatting counts then, my sister
Kissed anyone: No
Get sick: No
Talk to an ex: No
Miss someone: My parents
Eat: Of course la
Best feeling in the world: when I hang out with midget and all worries and stress is gone and then, I can actually laugh from the heart
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: I have 2 but they're stuffed between the mattress and the wall and hidden by my pillow. Don't fancy stuff animals
What’s under your bed: Nothing
Who do you really hate: At the moment? No one in particular. Can't say I hate anyone... I just tend to ignore the person's existance, hence no hatred nor any other emotions towards the person
What time is it now?: 10:10pm
5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1. Bullying the guys in my primary school... most likely
2. Learning Grade 5 music
3. Playing with my neighbour
4. Sleeping
5. Arguing with my brother
5 things on my to-do list today:
(I kinda started this toward the END of my day so...)
1. Attend pharmaco class but was cancelled
2. Go to the market and get onions and potatoes
3. Read up on anxiolytics, local anaestatics and antihypertensive drugs
4. Check for new Bleach episode (241) and download if available
5. Cook for the next 5 days
5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Pastries
2. Pineapple tarts
3. Ice-cream (tho taken rarely now a days...)
4. Chocolate (taken rarely)
5. French fries
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Bank it in to get interest so I get more money. Thus, I work when I only want to
2. Buy myself a nice traditional house in the country-side of Japan
3. Donate to the St. Jo Cathedrial
4. Bring my parents and brother to USA to visit my sister
5. Travel round the world and shopp at every branded store, shoe shop, butique of the country I visit
5 of my bad habits:
1. Hot headed
2. High expectations in others
3. Having a sharp tongue
4. Disregarding people's feelings since I can't connect with my own
5. Easily getting annoyed with everyone
5 places I have lived/stayed a night in:
1. KLIA
2. Santubong
3. Bangkok
4. Shah Alam / KL
5. Nizhniy Novgorod, Russia
5 things I will do after complete what im busy wif:
1. After finals, sleep, watch all the series put on pending, relaxing at the mall or on the streets
2. After Med school will be housemanship
3. After housemanship will be MD and or / specialist course
4. After classes, I take a nap
5. After the days activities, I visit my friend to play with her cat
5 people I tag:
1. Su Xu Vin
2. Fatimah Othman
3. Azli bin Nasiruddin
4. Farahani Nabila
5. .......... can't think of anyone else
time now : 10:30 pm.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Philosophycal thoughs??
Birth is a beginning, Freedom is a human right, Honour is a respect given n received, Respect must be earned,Tradition is a heritage to be cherished, Friendship is a bond made between you and I, Drivers licence is a trust, Work is a fulfilment, True love is a rare gem, a Spouse is a treasure found, Marriage is a life commitment, a child is a blessing from God, and Death is an end in this world but a beginning in the etenal.
A wonderful breath!!!
I always seem to be running; running from problems, emotions I'm reluctant to face, running towards a goal, to the finish line. Even when I'm standing still, I seem to be rushing. I know time awaits no one, but there's no point to keep running all the time. I'd like to just stop and breath, without the worry of time passing by, of which I have to chase. Breath...
I forgot all that was bothering me. Even if just for a moment, a few precious hours, I was flying free. Not tied down or burdened by problems, unwanted emotions and annoyance. For once in a long time, I breathed. I wasn't running against the ticking of time, I wasn't running away from any problems as they were all melted away. I wasn't running to finish something or to reach a goal. For once in a long time, I was walking WITH time, enjoying each step, and taking each breath deeply and steadily. As cliche as is may sound, I took the time to smell the roses.
For the first time since I arrived in Russia, I laughed till I cried talking to midget. And of all things, it was over something so stupid... a light bulb. Lol. And for what felt like years, I was actually comfortable with someone I have only met briefly. I actually felt like I was in my own skin. I was walking with a spring in my step. I had a genuine smile on my face, something that I have seemed to forget. A smile that was not a pretence, a smile that was not hiding anything behind it. It was genuinely a smile from the heart.
Although it was short lived, this precious moment of true enjoyment, it is something I will remember and will serve as an oasis when I start running again. Something to look forward to since if it happened today, it will surely happen again.
I forgot all that was bothering me. Even if just for a moment, a few precious hours, I was flying free. Not tied down or burdened by problems, unwanted emotions and annoyance. For once in a long time, I breathed. I wasn't running against the ticking of time, I wasn't running away from any problems as they were all melted away. I wasn't running to finish something or to reach a goal. For once in a long time, I was walking WITH time, enjoying each step, and taking each breath deeply and steadily. As cliche as is may sound, I took the time to smell the roses.
For the first time since I arrived in Russia, I laughed till I cried talking to midget. And of all things, it was over something so stupid... a light bulb. Lol. And for what felt like years, I was actually comfortable with someone I have only met briefly. I actually felt like I was in my own skin. I was walking with a spring in my step. I had a genuine smile on my face, something that I have seemed to forget. A smile that was not a pretence, a smile that was not hiding anything behind it. It was genuinely a smile from the heart.
Although it was short lived, this precious moment of true enjoyment, it is something I will remember and will serve as an oasis when I start running again. Something to look forward to since if it happened today, it will surely happen again.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
River on a Canvas
I wish life was like a quiet river; calm, slow, smooth and steady. Unfortunately, tho it may be a quiet river, even they have their rough areas, just like life. Slow, calm, smooth and steady life may seem, but like it or not, it gets bumpy here and there. Should I fight the current? Or just go with the flow? Should I worry I may drown and loose myself? Or should I accept it all and flow? Doens't matter because the right question is; can I?
Can I let go if the instict which craves consistency? An instict which prefers stability? Can I just surrender all resistance and leave destiny to take over without question? Somehow, I don't think I can. Somehow I don't think I want to. Control over the choices I make is the only thing I have control over. The choices I make are mine to make and mine alone. Take that away and what is left? I cannot live my life knowing that every choice that comes my way will be made by others. I am my own person.
But fighting the current is hard and exhausting. Where is my will to fight? It is burried under the dust and dirt of disappointments, tears, anger and loss. So what drives me on? I'm still moving forwards even if the steps I take are small and heavy. What is that drive? The inability to surrender is one reason. The other; vengeance. I will have my vengeance on those who have disturbed the smooth, calm flow of the river. My river. I will protect what I cherish most despite the means.
Do I oppose change? Change which just changes the path of the river but not it's quality of flow is welcomed if favourable. Change in life is unavoidable. Why fight a mundane battle? It will only cause turbulance in that smooth flow which I cherish.
My river has changed paths many times. I have made my choices in life, though short it may be. Some I have regretted but have done no harm, some have yet to be seen. I will protect what I cherish most; be it my way of life, friends or family. For if they are gone, for if I have nothing to protect, then my existance will be a lonely and sad one. It may not have the constant vibrant colour splashed all over its canvas, nor does it have the artful strokes of a master painter, but what it has is the steady flow of the brush with warm and cool colour intermingling with harmony. The picture of my river will remain the same in the sense of its quality but what will change is its course. Where to? Only time will tell.
Can I let go if the instict which craves consistency? An instict which prefers stability? Can I just surrender all resistance and leave destiny to take over without question? Somehow, I don't think I can. Somehow I don't think I want to. Control over the choices I make is the only thing I have control over. The choices I make are mine to make and mine alone. Take that away and what is left? I cannot live my life knowing that every choice that comes my way will be made by others. I am my own person.
But fighting the current is hard and exhausting. Where is my will to fight? It is burried under the dust and dirt of disappointments, tears, anger and loss. So what drives me on? I'm still moving forwards even if the steps I take are small and heavy. What is that drive? The inability to surrender is one reason. The other; vengeance. I will have my vengeance on those who have disturbed the smooth, calm flow of the river. My river. I will protect what I cherish most despite the means.
Do I oppose change? Change which just changes the path of the river but not it's quality of flow is welcomed if favourable. Change in life is unavoidable. Why fight a mundane battle? It will only cause turbulance in that smooth flow which I cherish.
My river has changed paths many times. I have made my choices in life, though short it may be. Some I have regretted but have done no harm, some have yet to be seen. I will protect what I cherish most; be it my way of life, friends or family. For if they are gone, for if I have nothing to protect, then my existance will be a lonely and sad one. It may not have the constant vibrant colour splashed all over its canvas, nor does it have the artful strokes of a master painter, but what it has is the steady flow of the brush with warm and cool colour intermingling with harmony. The picture of my river will remain the same in the sense of its quality but what will change is its course. Where to? Only time will tell.
Friday, June 26, 2009
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!! I'm FREE!!!!
25th June was the last day of exam. While I have stayed up ALL night trying to fit everything else that I haven't prepared into my already conjested brain, nothing went in... nothing much anyways. So 25th came and GOD was I nervous. I knelt in front of my crucifix and prayed HARD for my questions to be something I have learnt!
Boy, was I dancing my way out of the exam room. Ok. So I didn't get an excellent mark but hey, a good is good enough for physiology. :P Yes, my questions were easy just that I forgot the name of the centre located in the pons that controls the respiration rate, hence, my 4. Owh well... it was better than I thought I'd get. I thought that the teacher will either fail me or just give me a passing mark. So yes, a 4 was delightful, which explained why I was dancing my way out of the exam room. :D
So after all those weeks of stress (lost 5kg because of that) :P right after that exams was done, I was out SHOPPING!!!! Then there was the graduation party in the 1st hostel. hehe... study hard, party hard!!!! I literally partied from dusk till dawn... WOHOO!!!!
And since I'll be here for half my summer, I'm sure they'll be more parties to keep me relatively occupied and entertained.
Have fun ya'll. I know I am!!!!!!!!!!
25th June was the last day of exam. While I have stayed up ALL night trying to fit everything else that I haven't prepared into my already conjested brain, nothing went in... nothing much anyways. So 25th came and GOD was I nervous. I knelt in front of my crucifix and prayed HARD for my questions to be something I have learnt!
Boy, was I dancing my way out of the exam room. Ok. So I didn't get an excellent mark but hey, a good is good enough for physiology. :P Yes, my questions were easy just that I forgot the name of the centre located in the pons that controls the respiration rate, hence, my 4. Owh well... it was better than I thought I'd get. I thought that the teacher will either fail me or just give me a passing mark. So yes, a 4 was delightful, which explained why I was dancing my way out of the exam room. :D
So after all those weeks of stress (lost 5kg because of that) :P right after that exams was done, I was out SHOPPING!!!! Then there was the graduation party in the 1st hostel. hehe... study hard, party hard!!!! I literally partied from dusk till dawn... WOHOO!!!!
And since I'll be here for half my summer, I'm sure they'll be more parties to keep me relatively occupied and entertained.
Have fun ya'll. I know I am!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Untitled
Does love exist?
I believe it does.
I do not want a fairytale love story,
For it will never come.
I do not want a Jane-Austen love story,
For reality is not so kind.
I search for a simple love story,
Where I believe love exists.
Do I know what love is?
I don’t think I do.
For all the books of love in the world,
For all the poetry of love in the world,
For all the vows of love in the world,
I still do not know what love is.
Can I love you?
I hope I will find the courage.
Love is never easy,
Love is not always kind,
Love will not always be a bed of roses,
But persevere, and it will blossom.
Can I say I love you?
Shyness prevents me from doing so.
I have never loved a man before,
I have never professed my love before.
I await your approach which may not come,
Do I tell you, do I wait, or do I let go?
How long have I felt this way?
Silently for two years now.
We first spoke at a doorway,
Friendly, entertaining, intriguing, warm
I watched you from afar,
Approaching, but never more… till now
Will you accept my feelings?
I pray you do.
Fear keeps me from telling,
For once it is said,
It cannot be taken back
Will I find the meaning of love with you?
Only time will tell.
God has His plans for you and I,
What are they, we can never know.
So, I leave it in His hands and wait
For time will reveal our future.
I cannot say I love you,
Because I do not know if this is love.
I cannot say I love you,
Because I do not know what love means.
All I can say is that I like you.
The ‘like’ I mean is not a liking between friends,
The ‘like’ I talk about and feel,
It the liking between a woman and a man
I like you now as a friend, but also as a man.
For nearly two years,
You have haunted my dreams and thoughts.
For nearly two years,
I have laughed and joked with you,
while silently and painfully falling for you
Shall I stay quiet, so we remain friends?
Or shall I tell and we become strangers?
Shall I stay quiet and wait for you?
Or shall I tell, before someone else takes you?
If I should speak those words to you,
I dare not think what your reply would be.
I pray that you will accept my feelings,
But that is all in your hands.
If I should speak those words to you,
Please understand that it was not easy.
For it requires all the courage I have in me,
And maybe even more than I have.
If I should speak those words to you,
I shall await your reply.
For you need time to think and decide,
But know I cannot keep waiting on you.
I believe it does.
I do not want a fairytale love story,
For it will never come.
I do not want a Jane-Austen love story,
For reality is not so kind.
I search for a simple love story,
Where I believe love exists.
Do I know what love is?
I don’t think I do.
For all the books of love in the world,
For all the poetry of love in the world,
For all the vows of love in the world,
I still do not know what love is.
Can I love you?
I hope I will find the courage.
Love is never easy,
Love is not always kind,
Love will not always be a bed of roses,
But persevere, and it will blossom.
Can I say I love you?
Shyness prevents me from doing so.
I have never loved a man before,
I have never professed my love before.
I await your approach which may not come,
Do I tell you, do I wait, or do I let go?
How long have I felt this way?
Silently for two years now.
We first spoke at a doorway,
Friendly, entertaining, intriguing, warm
I watched you from afar,
Approaching, but never more… till now
Will you accept my feelings?
I pray you do.
Fear keeps me from telling,
For once it is said,
It cannot be taken back
Will I find the meaning of love with you?
Only time will tell.
God has His plans for you and I,
What are they, we can never know.
So, I leave it in His hands and wait
For time will reveal our future.
I cannot say I love you,
Because I do not know if this is love.
I cannot say I love you,
Because I do not know what love means.
All I can say is that I like you.
The ‘like’ I mean is not a liking between friends,
The ‘like’ I talk about and feel,
It the liking between a woman and a man
I like you now as a friend, but also as a man.
For nearly two years,
You have haunted my dreams and thoughts.
For nearly two years,
I have laughed and joked with you,
while silently and painfully falling for you
Shall I stay quiet, so we remain friends?
Or shall I tell and we become strangers?
Shall I stay quiet and wait for you?
Or shall I tell, before someone else takes you?
If I should speak those words to you,
I dare not think what your reply would be.
I pray that you will accept my feelings,
But that is all in your hands.
If I should speak those words to you,
Please understand that it was not easy.
For it requires all the courage I have in me,
And maybe even more than I have.
If I should speak those words to you,
I shall await your reply.
For you need time to think and decide,
But know I cannot keep waiting on you.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Innocense and Pureness of Love??
Yes, I’m in the midst of my exam preparation and yet, I still find the time to watch movies. I just watched ‘Pride & Prejudice’ again for the 5th time. I love the movie. I love the book. But like all Jane Austen’s book, it tells about the same thing and even the same plot. If you’ve read or watched ‘pride & Prejudice’, her other books, namely ‘Sense & Sensibility’ (even the title’s about the same!) and ‘Wuthering Heights’ are about the same.
So you might wonder if I’m saying that her books are rather boring in the sense that the plot is more or less the same, why do I bother to read them or even watching ‘Pride & Prejudice’ over and over again. And come on, do I strike you as a romantist? I suppose that my answer would be because I wonder if such love/romance still exists in this world of sex, money and infidelity.
In this world, a kiss does not seem to mean much anymore. In books and movies like Jane Austen’s, a kiss is something big, something to be taken seriously. A kiss says a lot about how the girl accepts the man’s love and how committed is the man to have her. When I say have here, it does not mean just to have sex with her but to actually enter into marriage with her, and all that from a single, innocent kiss. Jane’s Austen’s world paints a picture of a love so innocent and pure, that I wonder if it actually existed or is it just a fantasy of an author. A simple touch conveys so much. A man respects a woman for more than her beauty but of course her beauty is what catches his eyes in the first place; His endless pursue for her love and affection; His dedication towards her; His respect for her feelings through his choice of words and action; Her shyness and pureness.
Maybe it really is all just a fantasy. A love so innocent and pure. Innocent that there is no/minimum sexual contact and pure that it survives through anything and that it is deep. A love where the man initiates everything and the woman either rejects or accepts.
Maybe it was possible then, when social moral was different from our world today. Would I have liked to live in Jane Austen’s time? Maybe. If my life went as it is told in her books. If there is such a love in this world, I would like to find it. If there is such a love in this world, it is to be cherished for it is rare and special. I am not looking for a drama in romance; life is already hard to begin with, why add more drama? All I’m looking and hoping for is the innocence and pureness of love. The guy in my story doesn’t have to come to my rescue in white shining armour on a horse battling with an antagonist to win my heart, or own an estate with millions to his name, or pursue me to the ends of the earth.
Simplicity, dedication, affection, loyalty, and reliability would suffice but I suppose even that is asking too much :D
So you might wonder if I’m saying that her books are rather boring in the sense that the plot is more or less the same, why do I bother to read them or even watching ‘Pride & Prejudice’ over and over again. And come on, do I strike you as a romantist? I suppose that my answer would be because I wonder if such love/romance still exists in this world of sex, money and infidelity.
In this world, a kiss does not seem to mean much anymore. In books and movies like Jane Austen’s, a kiss is something big, something to be taken seriously. A kiss says a lot about how the girl accepts the man’s love and how committed is the man to have her. When I say have here, it does not mean just to have sex with her but to actually enter into marriage with her, and all that from a single, innocent kiss. Jane’s Austen’s world paints a picture of a love so innocent and pure, that I wonder if it actually existed or is it just a fantasy of an author. A simple touch conveys so much. A man respects a woman for more than her beauty but of course her beauty is what catches his eyes in the first place; His endless pursue for her love and affection; His dedication towards her; His respect for her feelings through his choice of words and action; Her shyness and pureness.
Maybe it really is all just a fantasy. A love so innocent and pure. Innocent that there is no/minimum sexual contact and pure that it survives through anything and that it is deep. A love where the man initiates everything and the woman either rejects or accepts.
Maybe it was possible then, when social moral was different from our world today. Would I have liked to live in Jane Austen’s time? Maybe. If my life went as it is told in her books. If there is such a love in this world, I would like to find it. If there is such a love in this world, it is to be cherished for it is rare and special. I am not looking for a drama in romance; life is already hard to begin with, why add more drama? All I’m looking and hoping for is the innocence and pureness of love. The guy in my story doesn’t have to come to my rescue in white shining armour on a horse battling with an antagonist to win my heart, or own an estate with millions to his name, or pursue me to the ends of the earth.
Simplicity, dedication, affection, loyalty, and reliability would suffice but I suppose even that is asking too much :D
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